Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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