somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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