BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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