Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I yelled at your uterus for you.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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