I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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