You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
