just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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