If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You took a bar mat shot.
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Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize