Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I want to be your penis for a week.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
