you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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