So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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