He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
