Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you would pick up someone in the library
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
