I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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