So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
