Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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