I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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