You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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