I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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