Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
