Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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