I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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