after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
