How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
