I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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