it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
how does that bad decision feel?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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