Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
