She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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