i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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