Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize