thus making me awesome and them whores
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
