dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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