he told me I talked like a deaf person
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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