Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We won't sleep together?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've blown a few things in my day
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Randomize
