I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
