My liver just broke up with me...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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