Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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