Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
