Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire

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  (310): Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire http://tfl.nu/u3d6
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (1763)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up

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  (203): it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up http://tfl.nu/co6p
  Replies (64) Good night (749) Bad night (3680)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.

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  (410): Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever. http://tfl.nu/6xdo
  Replies (15) Good night (5095) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me

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  (973): i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me http://tfl.nu/lmdm
  Replies (20) Good night (6674) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?

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  (708): Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason? http://tfl.nu/eo4z
  Replies (3) Good night (2811) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen

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  (734): i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen http://tfl.nu/gv17
  Replies (12) Good night (1677) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?

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  (423): There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night? http://tfl.nu/kr4w
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.

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  (631): He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims. http://tfl.nu/mqeu
  Replies (16) Good night (2634) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...

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  (919): If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know... http://tfl.nu/u1x9
  Replies (5) Good night (1006) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.

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  (281): Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky. http://tfl.nu/g7xl
  Replies (1) Good night (825) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  NO TEQUILA

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead

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  (907): NO TEQUILA (1-907): Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead http://tfl.nu/zozh
  Replies (0) Good night (608) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?

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  (214): As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight? http://tfl.nu/olih
  Replies (4) Good night (841) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.

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  (407): Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away. http://tfl.nu/1xai
  Replies (1) Good night (630) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy

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  (717): I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy http://tfl.nu/032a
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.

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  (302): I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth. http://tfl.nu/icea
  Replies (0) Good night (196) Bad night (372)

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