Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"

(1-415): View more from California

What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.

(415): View more from California

He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."

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(619): View more from California

Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.

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(940): View more from Texas

just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it

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(248): View more from Michigan

Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".

(781): View more from Massachusetts

It was only one, it doesn't count.

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(207): View more from Maine

He violated my cat. I was not impressed.

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(661): View more from California

I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.

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(518): View more from New York

I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.

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