Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.

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(512): dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce. http://tfl.nu/89y8

Replies (11) Good night (917) Bad night (3293)
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(912): View more from Georgia

Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.

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(912): Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy. http://tfl.nu/2f82

Replies (42) Good night (719) Bad night (5473)
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(571): View more from Virginia

Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober

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(571): Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober http://tfl.nu/ny6e

Replies (22) Good night (5948) Bad night (1185)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'

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(778): Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world' http://tfl.nu/vm9t

Replies (8) Good night (7138) Bad night (804)
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(585): View more from New York

are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?

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(585): are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet? http://tfl.nu/shbs

Replies (31) Good night (5218) Bad night (1859)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."

(423): View more from Tennessee

Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.

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(814): What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners." (423): Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A. (814): No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay. http://tfl.nu/o5wb

Replies (23) Good night (9498) Bad night (1310)
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(970): View more from Colorado

going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.

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(970): going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after. http://tfl.nu/sghm

Replies (8) Good night (3969) Bad night (792)
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(903): View more from Texas

I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.

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(903): I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission. http://tfl.nu/3lm1

Replies (19) Good night (3272) Bad night (941)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity

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(314): Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity http://tfl.nu/auuk

Replies (6) Good night (1045) Bad night (476)
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(631): View more from New York

Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital

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(631): Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital http://tfl.nu/fnso

Replies (12) Good night (1185) Bad night (729)
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(212): View more from New York

Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?

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(212): Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes? http://tfl.nu/3emh

Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (530)
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(567): View more from Ohio

I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.

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(567): I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it. http://tfl.nu/gm4t

Replies (2) Good night (1474) Bad night (428)
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(636): View more from Missouri

PS: I just woke up from my shower

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(636): PS: I just woke up from my shower http://tfl.nu/57k9

Replies (6) Good night (1303) Bad night (533)
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(562): View more from California

Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.

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(562): Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works. http://tfl.nu/5yc6

Replies (3) Good night (216) Bad night (528)
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(817): View more from Texas

I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.

(682): View more from Texas

Congrats, you're all grown up now.

(817): View more from Texas

I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY

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(817): I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt. (682): Congrats, you're all grown up now. (817): I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY http://tfl.nu/u445

Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (212)

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