I wish I could teleport
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.