i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!