And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
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Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.