I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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