no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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