For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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