I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
