You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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