Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
