If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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