I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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