he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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