So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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