so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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