how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize