so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
