I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You need a sexual gate keeper
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
