He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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