his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
