the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
