i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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