are you still at the devil's house?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize