Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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