I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
