I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
