Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
even my farts smell like vagina
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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