I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize