is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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